Born on September 29th – 1942 EDITION

So, today’s your Birthday. Big Deal! What have you accomplished with YOUR life…?

1942 EDITION

Before she was funny

At age 26, English teacher Madeline Kahn (born 9/29/1942 as Madeline Gail Wolfson) finally made it to Broadway (in New Faces of 1968) after two previous roles she was cast for were cut (from How Now, Dow Jones and Promises, Promises) in rehearsal.

Rock's class act

At age 28, fancy fiddler Jean-Luc Ponty (born 9/29/1942) released an album of Frank Zappa music, part of a long collaboration with the unconventional guitarist that included touring with the Mothers of Invention.

Movie spokesman

At age 36, cycling Serbian scribe Steve Tesich (born in Yugoslavia 9/29/1942 as Stojan Tešić) won an Oscar for writing the screenplay of Breaking Away.

Little Bill dreamed of being an astronaut

At age 43, Family man Bill Nelson (born 9/29/1942) became the first Democratic senator to fly in space (Jake Garn had flown the year before).

From Lovejoy to Killjoy

At age 61, former antiques dealer Ian McShane (born 9/29/1942) made his mark on cable television playing Al Swearengen, the vicious town boss of Deadwood.

Born on September 28th

So today’s your Birthday. Big Deal! What have you accomplished with YOUR life…?

Bardot, with a grateful Vadim

At age 18, Dylan muse Brigitte Bardot (born 9/28/1934) married young film director Roger Vadim, who launched her film career and the era of the sex kitten.

The Woman Who Main- streamed Porn

At age 21, latter-day sex kitten Sylvia Kristel (born 9/28/1952)  starred in the soft-porn classic Emmanuelle, which took sleazy French art film one step closer to a state of outright pornography.

Grandfather of Carmen Jones

At age 27, French archeologist Prosper Mérimée (born 9/28/1803) befriended the Spanish Countess of Montijo, who was the inspiration for his short story, “Carmen”, which was the inspiration for innumerable adaptations and parodies.

One of Carmen's innumerable lovers

At age 34, ‘living skeleton’ Pedro de Cordoba (born 9/28/1881) made his movie debut in the first filmed version of Mérimée’s Carmen.

Famous for his killer Shatner imitation

At age 35, Italian icon Marcello Mastroianni (born 9/28/1924) appeared in Fellini’s La Dolce Vita, perfecting the languid look of a world-weary womanizer.

Born on September 27th

Paltrow's Pan-ned movie

At age 19, university dropout Gwyneth Paltrow (born 9/27/1972) briefly appeared as a young Wendy Darling in the ceaselessly broadcast and universally panned pirate flick Hook.

Loaf, auditioning for 'Animal House'

At age 26, thick and beefy Meat Loaf (born 9/27/1947 as Marvin Lee Aday) played Dr. Scott (and Eddie) in the Los Angeles production of The Rocky Horror Show.

Nast, by fellow cartoonist de Grimm

At age 28, ur-cartoonist Thomas Nast (born 9/27/1840) began a campaign to bring down the largest and most corrupt administration New York City had ever seen… at least until the next Century.

He was just big-boned

At age 39, big voiced and big pantsed William Conrad (born 9/27/1920 as William Cann) tried his best every week to explain why an international spy ring would waste its time and resources pursuing a moose and squirrel.

Meadows and meal ticket

At age 71, the Chinese-born wife of Steve Allen, Jayne Meadows (born 9/27/1920 as Jayne Cotter), provided the voice of Billy Crystal’s mom in City Slickers.

Born on September 26th

Anderson, Pre-Prairie

At age 10, Hall of Famer Melissa Sue Anderson (born 9/26/1962) set little Bobby Brady’s head a-spinning with his first kiss.

Whitman working Washington wonks

At age 23, politically well-connected Christie Todd Whitman (born 9/26/1946)  served in President Nixon’s Office of Economic Opportunity under Donald Rumsfeld, before the agency was dismantled five years later.

At age 25, jazzy George Gershwin (born 9/26/1898 as Jacob Gershowitz) received passionate reviews – both critical and adulatory – for his ragtag Rhapsody in Blue.

Abner-era Douglas

At age 27, Louisiana tom-boy Donna Douglas (born 9/26/1932 as Dorothy Smith) got a chance to polish her Elly May routine with some uncredited work in the movie Li’l Abner.

Back before we knew fitness was good for us

At age 37, jumping Jack La Lanne (born 9/26/1914) created television’s longest running fitness show, quitting the gig 34 years later.

Born on September 25th

He couldn't be taken seriously as a rapper, so...

At age 18, Overbrook High School student Will Smith (born 9/25/1968 as Willard Smith, Jr.) teams up with his buddy Jeff Townes to release a hit single, “Girls Ain’t Nothin’ but Trouble”.

One pilot was enough

At age 25, Mark Hamill (born 9/25/1951) taped the pilot episode of Eight is Enough. Before the show was picked up by ABC for an eventual five season run, Hamill tried to drop out of his contract, but only a serious auto accident – after which he was replaced by Grant Goodeve – could free him up to appear in an upcoming George Lucas film. So, rather than launching a long and fruitful career as a sought-after television actor, Hamill has spent his life in Typecasting Hell.

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[insert clever joke about floor cleaning tools here

At age 33, Melville Bissell (born 9/25/1843), no relation to the whaler, patented the carpet sweeper, a boon to busy – and dirty – restaurants everywhere.

If she spent more time on housework, she wouldn't have waxy build-up

At age 44, daughter of the American revolution, Mercy Otis Warren (born 9/25/1728), wrote a play, The Adulateur, which foretold the coming of Revolution due to the oppressive actions of Colonial governors like Thomas Hutchinson of Massachusetts.

Radnor's loving tribute to Walters' eloquence

At age 45, after 14 years of toil on The Today Show, Barbara Walters (born 9/25/1929)  was finally designated co-host, also making her a target for cheap jokes and lame imitations.

Born on September 24th

So, today’s your Birthday. Big Deal! At  your age, what have you accomplished with your life…?

Inspired by the home movie

At age 30, Greek-Canadian Nia Vardalos (born 9/24/1962) had a big, fat Greek wedding, which – nine years later – she turned into a surprise hit film.

He would have sold his soul

At age 32, Hall of Fame nice guy “Mean” Joe Greene (born 9/24/1946) bartered his game jersey (which would no doubt bring in a healthy return if auctioned on EBay) for nothing more than a bottled soft drink.

Wasted on the way

At age 40, The Human Decanter, F. Scott Fitzgerald (born 9/24/1896), returned to Hollywood a desperate man, doing a little work on Gone With the Wind, and writing a novel (which became The Last Tycoon) on the side.

Meadows didn't look as good in color

At age 42, famous wife and mother Sheila MacRae (born 9/24/1924 as Sheila Stephens) stepped into Audrey Meadows’ shoes playing a musical Alice Kramden on Jackie Gleason’s variety show.

Court Marshall

At age 45, John “Silverheels” Marshall (born 9/24/1755) was appointed Supreme Court chief justice by John Adams, simply because Adams was desperate to appoint someone in the waning days of his administration, and Secretary of State Marshall happened to be nearby. Incredibly, even after his taking office as Justice, he continued to serve in the Cabinet until Adams’ term  ended a month later.

Born on Septermber 23rd

So, today’s your birthday… BIG DEAL! What have you accomplished with YOUR life…?

Rooney, during one of his many divorce proceedings

At age 6, supernaturally precocious Mickey Rooney (born 9/23/1920 as Joseph Yule Jr.) had his name legally changed to Mickey McGuire in order to star in a series of short films based on a character from the popular Toonerville Trolley comic strip.

Suzuki and co-star, when Time still cared about Broadway

At age 27, former internee Pat Suzuki (born 9/23/1931 as Chiyoko Suzuki) enjoyed being the girl at the center of Rodgers and Hammerstein’s hit musical, Flower Drum Song.

Orczy, by Chris Schweizer

At age 33, soon after the birth of her child, Emmuska Orczy (born 9/23/1865 born in Hungary as Baroness Emma Magdolna Rozália Mária Jozefa Borbála Orczy de Orczi) wrote her first book, The Emperor’s Candlesticks, which was made into a 1937 movie starring William Powell. (Illustrator Schweizer’s website is at curiousoldlibrary.blogspot.com.)

Mouseketeer for a day

At age 45, the first ex-Mouseketeer ever, Paul Petersen (born 9/23/1945), founded an organization that worked to improve conditions for child actors, including Octomom’s octuplets.

Charles, between trysts

At age 70, inestimable song interpreter and unrepentant letch Ray Charles (born 9/23/1930 as Ray Charles Robinson) sang “America the Beautiful” – just one of his many signature tunes – before a worldwide audience at the 35^th Super Bowl.

Born on September 22nd

So, it’s your birthday today… BIG DEAL! What have you accomplished with YOUR life…?

JAILBAIT EDITION

Baio was no cream puff

At age 15, Scott Baio (born 9/22/1961), whose happiest days were still ahead of him, ruled the kiddie gangster world in the cult musical Bugsy Malone, starring alongside fellow jailbait Jodie Foster.

She'll take you to heaven, one way or another

At age 20, heaven bait Debby Boone (born 9/22/1956), a veteran performer who already logged 6 years touring with her family (including dad Pat Boone), released her solo hit, “You Light Up My Life.”

Jailbait

NOT Jailbait

At age 20, part-time musician and full-time film actor Tom Felton (born 9/22/1987) played a 16-year-old who engineered the assassination of the most powerful man in the Wizarding world. We’re talking about the Harry Potter movies, you stupid git.

Columbia loves rock'n'roll

At age 21, former Miss Columbia Joan Jett (born 9/22/1958), with members of the Sex Pistols, recorded a demo of “I Love Rock and Roll”, which celebrates the joys of mixing music with statutory rape.

Jailbait mentoring

At age 27, Vietnam vet Paul Le Mat (born 9/22/1946) played a freshly minted high school grad (who spent a wild night racing around town with a teenybopper) in American Graffiti.

Born on September 21st – CARTOON EDITION

So, today’s your birthday…  BIG DEAL!  What have you accomplished with YOUR life…?

CARTOON EDITION

Animal, before ADHD set in

At age 27, Full House hoser David Coulier (born 9/21/1959) voiced “Baby Animal”, among other infants, on the animated TV show, “Muppet Babies”.

Mullins, with his li'l bro, Kayo

At age 29, cartoonist Frank Willard (born 9/21/1893) created “Moon Mullins”, a long-running (68 years) comic strip about low life in a boarding house, and featuring the titular tough-talking mug and his little ‘brudder’, Kayo.

Bernice, with alter ego

At age 33, Three Men and a Baby mama Nancy Travis (born 9/21/1961) voiced cult cartoons’ most famous twin sisters-in-law. No, not Patty and Selma, but Bernice and Beverly Hufnagel, on the USA Network’s ’90s hit, Duckman.

Mascot for a failed TV network

At age 83, animator Chuck Jones (born 9/12/1912) was given an Honorary Oscar – in addition to the 3 animation Oscars he’d already won – ‘for the creation of classic cartoon characters’ such as Pepe LePew, the Road Runner, and… Michigan J. Frog.

Born on September 18th – BORN IN THE SAME YEAR

“BORN IN THE SAME YEAR” EDITION

So today’s your birthday. Big Deal! What have YOU accomplished with your life?

BORN IN 1905

Would YOU marry that haircut?

At age 22, budding Swedish film star Greta Garbo (born 9/18/1905 as Greta Gustafsson) preferred being alone to being married to handsome co-star John Gilbert, leaving him at the altar and spending the rest of her life marriage-free.

So you think you can dance like her?

At age 29, bereft of an actor’s face or a dancer’s body, Agnes de Mille (born 9/18/1905) turned to teaching actors how to dance in her uncle’s film Cleopatra; regrettably, the dance scenes were deleted from the final cut.

After Burnt Cork's loss, Anderson tried racing camels

At age 37, vociferous valet Eddie “Rochester” Anderson (born 9/18/1905) ran his horse, Burnt Cork, in the Kentucky Derby.

BORN IN 1933

Blake, acting circles around Bogart

At age 14, real life tough guy Robert “Bobby” Blake (born 9/18/1933 as Mickey Gubitosi) played opposite Humphrey Bogart in an easily forgettable scene from the unforgettable film Treasure of the Sierra Madre.

TV's first edible stage set

At age 24, not-the-famous-country-singer Jimmie Rodgers (born 9/18/1933) staked his own claim to fame with what would later become a cereal jingle, “Honeycomb.”

Bowman, having a celebratory drink

At age 34, king of the rink Scotty Bowman (born 9/18/1933) began a long and fruitful coaching career that culminated in 9 Stanley Cup championships with three different teams.